I was not only six months older and wiser, but I knew that I had matured spiritually. I don't have all the answers – but I do know that when I did qualify in November 2002, I was a much better house officer than I would have been the summer before. I had to eat big slices of humble pie during that difficult, but educational time. During my preparation for the resits I was astounded as I realised how ill-prepared I had been for the exams in the summer. God does know best and we are called to trust his sovereign wisdom as we live for him. 'For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,' declares the Lord. Our Lord Jesus was not spared the cruelty of this fallen world, so why do we think we should be? why did it happen?
The Bible tells countless stories of our brothers and sisters of faith who endured many trials and tribulations, in spite and sometimes because of their commitment to God. In some Christian circles, there is an assumption that God owes us success in life – as if it was part of the deal when we became followers of Christ that success would always follow no matter what. Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble? (1) Questions, questions and more questions filled my head: Why did God let this happen? How could this happen to me, I'm a committed Christian? What on earth do I do now? What shall I tell my parents? how could it happen?
What I had spent all night fasting and praying against was staring me in the face – the slip of paper told me that I had failed finals. Jubilation is so contagious I could feel the success, as though just being there was enough. My tentative steps became more firm, gaining confidence as I approached the office that I too would share in the success of my peers and be able to join them celebrating in the sunshine. The jovial mood really did lift my spirits and renew my hope. Shouts, cheers, laughter and lots of 'good luck Chid' were ringing in my ears as I headed towards the medical school reception to get my brown envelope. I arrived at the university campus and bravely made my way through the crowds of elated final year medical students who had got their results already and had, quite obviously, passed. I had already landed an amazing first year job there to start in August 2002, including a paediatric rotation, which was what I felt God was calling me to do – surely he wouldn't have given me that job if I wasn't going to pass? This was it the culmination of six long hard years at medical school would be defined by what was written on that slip of paper.Ī pass would signal the successful end of my student career and triumphant beginning of a medical career as a pre-registration house officer at Ealing Hospital NHS Trust. I was extremely anxious and felt sick with worry. Needless to say, basking in the midday sun was last on my list of priorities.
It was also the day I was to get my exam results for medical school finals.
It was a beautiful summer's day in June 2002, the sort of day most of us would crave for - perfect conditions for water fights, Ultimate Frisbee, reading a novel in the park, sunbathing or alfresco dining.
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